What should we know about narcissism?

When Veiko Valkiainen and I talked about Donald Trump’s colourful leadership style in his podcast last October, we assumed that the presidency of Donald 2.0 would be turbulent. Who would have thought that Europeans would not be given a second to throw off their tracksuits. The last few weeks have been like rafting on a river. The new U.S. administration’s paternalistic communicative attitude towards both its neighbors and allies made us think again about narcissism in leadership, business, and politics.

Narcissism has been talked about a lot as a personality disorder, its pathological manifestations in thinking, feelings and behavior. In fact, narcissism is much more prevalent in a subclinical form (something between normal and disorder), which generally does not hinder a person’s ability to cope in society, at work, and in relationships. In short, such people are characterized by a belief in their uniqueness, fearlessness, a tendency to overestimate their abilities, and an unwillingness to admit the mistakes they have made. Below, I will try to supplement the reader’s field of information on the topic of non-pathological narcissism.

In the case of narcissism, we are talking about a fairly stable set of personality traits rather than a personality type. We all have it in different degrees. It is important to ask from where in the world does this become a problem: when does self-confidence become arrogance and courage become audacity? The people around him can answer this question. It has been said that it is loved ones, subordinates, partners and allies who suffer from narcissism rather than the person themselves. Yesterday I typed “My boss is…” into the Google search engine to see what keywords people are searching with. ” … the sadist”, “… a narcissistic bully”, “.. bullying me” were some of the options that immediately caught my eye. It is not a marginal problem.

Some studies show that narcissism eases with age. When developing leaders, the goal should still be to raise awareness of one’s own unproductive behavioral patterns that hinder the achievement of goals, maintaining relationships and creating committed teams. The prerequisite for this is, of course, a deep interest in succeeding as a leader and suitable feedback mechanisms in the organization.

Narcissistic leaders became popular in the West (and especially in the United States) in the 1970s. Investors like Carl Icahn and Thomas Boone Pickens felt at one point that they were not getting enough returns on their investments. Of course, the hiring process was distinguished by vocal and self-confident top executives, who promised to take the company to new heights and promise the returns “they deserve”. Make America Great Again?

Narcissists are drawn to roles that involve power, autonomy, and control over resources. They have high self-confidence in succeeding in such roles. It is not surprising that there are many people at risk of narcissism in key roles in the political world. If you are smart, a quick thinker with good self-expression skills, you can tolerate setbacks, you are ambitious and, in addition to unwavering self-confidence, you also have a sufficiently paranoid mind to identify enemies behind laughing masks, then you have natural prerequisites for success in the world of politics.

People at risk of narcissism are charismatic to others on their best days and generally make a strong and positive first impression. It’s no surprise that they’re also popular in singles’ markets and socializing with members of the opposite sex (after a year or two of living together, opinions may change). We like confident people who know what they want and who don’t doubt themselves. At the job interview, they talk about vision, setting high goals, business growth, and determination to deliver results. In other words, messages that we really like to hear from the candidate’s mouth. Interviewers (even experienced doers) have a subconscious tendency to equate confidence with competence. My former psychology lecturer Toomas Niit always said: if you really like someone, ask yourself why!

Narcissism paradoxically helps (especially in hierarchical large companies, where the management does not have a full overview of what is happening in the teams of the subunits) to emerge as a leader, make a career and also receive a heftier salary (leadership emergence). This does not always mean that the leader’s team achieves good results (leadership effectiveness). In large hierarchical bureaucratic organizations, good political skills are needed to make a career, and confident and charismatic actors certainly have advantages to succeed here. Long-term successful team leaders are rather moderately modest as people, humble in a good way, but very competitive by nature (J. Collins’ “From Good to Great” and my own experience as a leader search).

In the case of top managers, narcissism can be accompanied by unrealistic goals and an overestimation of the organization’s capabilities in implementing growth. Also, blaming everyone else for failures (blame culture) and unwillingness to learn from one’s mistakes. As an example of leadership, I would like to highlight the rapid rise and fall of WeWork, a well-known workplace service provider, and its charismatic leader, Adam Neumann. Billions of investors’ money was burned at WeWork. Although large companies try to minimise the personal risks of key players through the principles of governance and controlling, the ability of individuals to screw things up should not be underestimated. In organisations in general, the manifestation of employees’ dark traits (manipulativeness, arrogance, procrastination, etc.) is inhibited by a strong organisational culture, clear rules of behaviour, and the ability and willingness of managers to identify and react to unproductive behavioural patterns in the team. In fact, it all starts with personnel choices: do we have the knowledge and skills to identify time bombs in the psychological balance sheet of our staff? In particular, I would like to ask this question in the context of the selection of political leaders, given the price that countries and peoples have had to pay for the wrong choices.

For managers, developers, mentors and coaches, narcissism is quite a challenge. It is noteworthy that people with high self-esteem and self-belief are often very successful in life and also have a corresponding status in society. However, it is relationships that often suffer. It is humanly difficult to correct behavioural patterns in oneself if they have so far led to success in certain areas and moments of life. Unproductive behavior patterns are often triggered by certain situations. For example, the toxic behavior of some superstars may be due to a lack of recognition or a lack of suitable challenges in the organization. During coaching, these situations should definitely be mapped out together with the client.

Narcissism can also be present in valued team leaders. I confirm this based on the evaluation data of Estonian managers, which we have collected with Hogan personality tests over the past 15 years during various management recruitment projects. We call it so-called controlled narcissism within ourselves. In general, these leaders are quite well aware of the sharp corners of their character. As a young start-up leader, you got your hands on it quite quickly in the past when you tried to run over others and resolve conflicts on the basis of your ego. Compared to so-called problematic narcissists, however, they have a great desire to understand how the team perceives their behavior and what impact it has on those on whom their performance depends. Valued leaders are quite active in shaping their reputation and leadership style in order to be effective in the long term. At the same time, it is not excluded that in certain stressful situations or crisis situations, the dark sides of the character may still manifest themselves. This is also a risk when you reach a position in your career path where you essentially no longer have to regulate your behavior and can be “myself” until the end. If Lord Acton once claimed that power corrupts people, then those who say that absolute power and autonomy reveal the true colors of character may be right. We are careful who we choose as our leaders!

If a team has a critical number of employees at risk of narcissism, there may be a so-called narcissism anchor, which means a constant power struggle, hidden agendas, bullying at work, and ill-considered, hasty decisions that serve someone’s personal interests.

The risk of narcissism (as well as other potential risk behaviors) can be assessed quite successfully in leadership candidates today. We have very good and science-based tools for this. We use the Hogan assessment system to assess the professional personality of (top) managers at Adera Executive Search. Personality risks may not be very evident in job interviews. Paradoxically, we can perceive them as strengths instead. If the tests reveal a risk of narcissism in the candidate, it provides additional focus for professional background research and reference gathering: how do you describe the candidate’s leadership style? How do you rate the dedication of his team members? What compliments and criticism has he received from his manager, colleagues and team members? How well does the candidate tolerate constructive criticism? What is his readiness to learn from mistakes? What is its ability to assess risks? etc.

Some signs of behavior that could indicate narcissism:

• Unwillingness to compromise in conflicts, willingness to win at all costs
• Unwillingness to admit one’s mistakes and take responsibility, blaming others for failures
• Overestimating one’s own abilities, underestimating the abilities of others
• The desire to dominate and forcefully impose one’s views on others
• (partial) writing of subordinates/colleagues’ success stories in one’s own name
• Difficulties in recognising subordinates and involving them in important decisions, when it could be reasonable
• Difficulties in receiving feedback

If you are interested in mapping managers’ personality risks or would like to share your thoughts on this topic, please contact me!

Alo Naelapea

Lead Consultant/Executive Headhunter

Adera Executive Search